MOTHERHOOD May 2012 Mother’s Day

Winnicott said that the good enough mother never asks the infant to answer of itself the question about the transitional object ‘did I find it or did I create it?’ I also think the good enough mother welcomes and enjoys her infant, sharing the joy of its developing experiences, accepting and loving it, most times, just for its being born, and making quick repair when she doesn’t. But the greatest gift a mother gives her child is her own genuine happiness, a consequence of her own subjectivity and interests, her own feeling of being loved and accepted in the world. This gift gives children the license to be happy themselves, permission for their own subjectivity, hope for the future (of aging), as well as infuses them with the belief that they are enjoyed, welcomed, and contribute to parental happiness. Jessica Benjamin noted that the subjectivity of the analyst also relieves the patient of having to feel responsible for the analyst’s ‘happiness.’ A Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there.