Exuberance and surrender

For me, part of an analytic attitude is to lean into the patient’s point of view and open myself to the logical reasoning to be found in otherwise unfathomable behavior. It is in the transitional space that all is possible. Here we play with the idea of what it would be like were patient and I to be family or friends, enemies or lovers. No affect is banned, no sentiment eschewed. We aspire to unflinchingly explore limitless facets. If only our humanness did not get in the way. Ah, but there it is, to be bumped up against and used as an edge to see where is my beginning and my end, the boundary, the psychological skin.

For me, empathy is finding the good reason in the bad behavior. I want to go there, to be there, with my patients. It is an act of love. Despite its painfulness at times, that attitude usually reminds me of the joyful exuberance in the Angels and Airwaves song “Lifeline” The refrain is

We all make mistakes.
Here's your Lifeline.
If you want it, I want to.

I rephrase:

We all make mistakes.
Here's all I’ve learned.
If you want, I want to.

The song ends with the repeating, resounding

If you want, I want to.

If you want, I want to.

If you want, I want to.

If you want, I want to.

That’s what I want with my patients: if you want me to, I will go there with you.